Published January 5, 2006

“My weekly session at the Willmar Center for Bereaved Children is always a learning experience for me,” says Marge Evans. “I learn about myself, I learn about kids, I learn about relationships.”

Marge participates in one of many support groups at Willmar, a non-profit, Sonoma-based organization designed to serve children and teenagers who have experienced the death of a loved one from illness, accident, suicide and homicide.

Evans, as well as the grieving middle-school children in her group, have made a commitment to show up every week. The developing sense of community helps dispel seemingly inevitable feelings of aloneness and isolation following loss of a loved one.
Every Willmar volunteer brings a unique set of experiences into the mix. Bereaved youngsters connect and gain strength when Marge shares that her own son, 17-year-old Scott, died instantly of a head injury in a hiking accident.

Volunteers connect through empathetic listening and genuine compassion. Young folks aged three to 19 learn this is a safe place to explore and share their emotions through art, music, games, physical exertion and guided open discussions.

Tears only occasionally spill over in her junior high group, Marge reveals. But when they do, the child receives utmost respect because all present have spilled their own share of tears.

At the same time, kids have a great deal of fun during the sessions.
“They understand,” said Ms. Evans, “that to be happy is not a betrayal. It’s wonderful to watch kids grow stronger as the weeks pass.”

Puppets provide a good outlet for humor. When kids start interacting with puppets, Marge wants to play back, grabs a puppet, changes her voice and gets into the action.
“Puppets allow us to be playful, understanding and empathetic, providing alternative and highly effective ways of communicating,” she proclaims.

Volunteers are trained and receive continuing support for their invaluable presence among children growing through their grief. To explore possibilities for your own participation, call Willmar at (707) 935-1946.

May I share your volunteer experiences in this column? Contact joan@justjoanonline.com